Anxiety and Working Remotely

By Graham, https://myanxiouslife.blog/

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Like so many people, I’ve adopted the work-from-home life. It’s been great to just roll out of bed, make some decaf coffee, and sit down at my computer. I have more time for the things that matter, and I spend less time going to places I don’t want to go. I can work outside when the weather is nice, and if I have to work late for some reason, I can just throw an easy dinner in the oven.

It sounds like the life for a socially awkward introvert with an anxiety disorder, and for the most part, it’s pretty great. But no situation is perfect, and sometimes there are things I miss, or, perhaps more aptly, find less worse about a workplace.

My biggest struggle is the fact that 90% of communication at my job is via Slack or email. Again, that seems like the dream, but text-only communication opens the door for a lot of ambiguity. Anxiety, unfortunately, feeds off ambiguity. I find myself reading too much into feedback, or even just regular daily communication, that I wouldn’t read as much into in person.

Continue reading “Anxiety and Working Remotely”

You Can’t Quit, We Need You! – teaching during the pandemic

By Tangela, first published on her site. She is a writer and educator based in the US.

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When people have to go to work physically, there is a chance for folks to separate the two worlds. You could leave the office at the office and worry about your home life at home. The stress could potentially be divided between the two places. However, with more people starting to work from home, people can’t leave their job at the job.

Myself, for example, I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to work from home. I have a problem with constantly stressing about everything, but I could kind of put my home problems out of my head for a while when I was a work. So when I worked from home, that line of demarcation was gone.

I include schoolwork in this too. I used to get to work early and work on some assignments there. Usually, I didn’t have the energy to work on things after work. Once I got home, I didn’t want to exert so much mental power.

When I’m working from home, it’s all anxiety all the time. Productivity is always on my mind. I stress about work decisions and schoolwork all the time, not to mention home stress. Let’s just say that I argue with my husband before work. I’m in a funky mood, right. Before, I could fume and clear my head during my commute. Get my mind right for talking to the kids. When I’m at home, I have ten minutes between clock in and showtime. Not long enough to decompress at all.

I’m not saying I was in a hurry to get back to class. On the contrary, I want to work as safely as possible. It’s just that people like me that can’t “turn it off” are really burned out. Plus, this new school year feels so much different from years in the past. We are currently three weeks into the year and the stress level feels like a typical late April/early May. The teachers are overwhelmed, and a lot of the kids are over it already. Plus, the ever-present threat of being sent back into quarantine because of the new COVID variants. None of the students in my building are old enough to get vaccinated. We won’t quarantine as a district, but several classrooms have been sent back to virtual learning due to illness.

Over summer break, I felt so much better. I didn’t have deadlines breathing down my neck. I didn’t have work expectations to meet. It was amazing how different I felt. Now, that summer break is over, the stressors are back, and I can feel my nerves starting to fray again. That’s no good.

Other people must be feeling the same.

11 Sept, 2021

Tangela Williams-Spann
https://twillspannwrites.com/

Freedom Day in England? Drastic lifting of lockdown restrictions

Today is being labelled by some as Freedom Day or Free-dumb Day, here in England, as the government has lifted remaining lockdown restrictions concerning face mask wearing, social movement and assembly.

In what is being called an experiment or a gamble by some, the government is acting knowing that cases will sharply rise even faster and are relying on the vaccination programme to stop too many people ending up in hospital or dying, as well as leaving it to local authorities and the public to largely manage themselves, as best they can. There are still national self-isolation and quarantine rules for those who get or are in contact with Covid-19 and for travellers from certain countries – but these too, are being watered down.

The cases in the UK having been increasing significantly, recently, due to the so-called ‘Delta variant’ strain and the previous ending of the stricter lockdown measures that prevented indoor gatherings, with daily cases now hitting over 50,000 a day, recently. Such was the concern, ‘Freedom Day’ was delayed for a month, from the planned date of 21st June. The number who are actually hospitalised or dying of Covid-19 in England is relatively low compared to last year’s disaster, as a reported 68.3% of the population of England have been fully vaccinated and 88% part vaccinated and this is reducing spread and number of serious symptoms. Antibodies from having had the virus and hospitals improving their treatment of patients is also likely reducing numbers of serious cases.

Many scientists and members of the public are concerned that the abrupt end to these restrictions, at this time, is going to accelerate the spread and, some fear that 50,000 cases a day could become 100,000 cases or higher within weeks or months. The National Health System, in England, is experiencing a lot of pressure from influx of patients whose treatments were delayed due to the pandemic, as well as staff burnout and, also, staff shortage as they are being required to self-isolate or quarantine. The NHS was already understaffed and overwhelmed, prior to the pandemic. There are fears that sharp rises in cases could lead to hospitalisation levels that become unmanageable and this could even lead to the need for return to restrictions just to protect the health system from breaking down.

The government is recommending continuation of some public anti-contagion measures, such as wearing face masks in indoor gathering spaces and social distancing but no longer making it compulsory. They have ended, completely, guidance on working from home. The drastic relaxation may affect vaccination take-up and observance of the rules that remain in place, if a culture of resistance or indifference grows, encouraged by ‘Freedom Day’.

Some local authorities, such as the mayor of London, are using their limited powers to make it compulsory to wear face masks on public transport within their areas but not all authorities have such powers. Some retail store companies say that they will insist staff and customers continue to wear masks, whilst others say they will recommend it but not insist from customers, to avoid their staff receiving abuse. It is hard to see how such a piecemeal approach can be effective or fair on customer service staff.

Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, as devolved administrations that have control over their own Covid rules, are not removing all rules and face mask wearing and social distancing restrictions remain as do some restrictions on how many people can gather indoors. They may be taking heed of the experience in Netherlands, where most restrictions were lifted on 26th June, as cases fell, only for the government to backtrack soon after, as cases increased from 1,000 to 7,000 a day, by reimposing social distancing rules, meaning the closure of nightclubs and earlier closing for cafes and restaurants.

A difficult balance must be struck and the public need to be convinced. In France, rising cases has moved the government to make it mandatory for health workers to be vaccinated and gone as far as a plan to require a health pass for access to restaurants and cafes, either showing vaccination or a negative Covid test. Whilst polls show the majority of the French population are supportive of such measures, on Saturday, July 17th, over 100,000 protestors marched in major cities in opposition to what they see as an imposition on civil liberties and effectively, a compulsory vaccination programme for anyone who wishes to participate in social life.

A safer approach and one that protects the national health service, in England, would have been to wait until a higher proportion of the public were fully vaccinated and to retain some national anti-contagion measures such as face masks on public transport and for indoor meeting places and retaining social distancing and work from home guidance.

However, the government have put pressure on themselves through promises of a freedom day and have lost popularity for the handling of the pandemic, including through high profile cases of ministers or advisers breaking their own rules and, they seem keen on diverting responsibility from themselves. They have also been under pressure from some business lobbies and other campaign groups to end restrictions. Unfortunately, they are not giving sufficient weight, it seems, to the National Health Service, which will be under immense pressure again and more people will needlessly die or be seriously unwell. How this experiment plays out will likely greatly depend on the number and speed of the take-up of vaccinations in the coming weeks, how much support the NHS receives and, perhaps, the responsible actions of the English public.

Anxiety, art, the pandemic and job-seeking in Ukraine – a diary

Oil painting by correspondent, 2021 – if you would like to support the artist’s work, contact me

Between December 2019 and April 2021, a Ukrainian woman in her 30s, currently living in the Kyiv area, shared with me some of her experiences of challenging her anxiety symptoms, searching for work and her efforts at painting. She told me she prefers to listen to stories than tell them but gave me permission to share some of her experiences anonymously, saying: “You can embellish the story with different romantic stories, whatever you want, but only my photo is scary to upload) it is better not).” At the start of the conversation, from which I have deleted my responses and most of her questions for me, to focus on her experience, she is living with her parents, near Kyiv, helping at her father’s small local electrical goods store and selling religious books by mail.

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Dec 18, 2019

Today is a sunny day. I argued with my father that I would find work after the new year, and he would stop drinking)). Maybe at least it will drive me out of the house.

…we bet that if I go to work my father will not drink). This is not a quarrel, but a game. Once I argued with my brother that if I go to work in Poland, he will quit smoking. I went to Poland, but he did not quit smoking 🙂

Dec 20, 2019

I have not had time to buy gifts, instead, I got drunk yesterday, could not stand it)). Because of this, the state of health is not very good. But she swore to herself that this is the last time)

no, I can drink alone). I feel good only the first half hour, and then it becomes very bad.

I also drank 2 beers). I have not bought gifts yet, I have a big family, I need a lot of gifts.

Dec 22, 2019

Yes, I’m better, I swore to myself not to drink anymore, although often I really feel like it. I choose which country I should go to work. But it will be in six months, it will take a lot of time to draw up documents) Maybe Sweden)

I will go through a paid agency. But this is not soon, a lot needs to be done for this)…this is work somewhere in the factories. It’s very difficult there, but i can earn more than in Ukraine. Since I haven’t been working for a year, I need to pay for it).

No, I’m very cowardly, but in extreme conditions it’s easier for me. When everyone is busy, all Ukrainians who go to work are in the same conditions). Although in Poland it was difficult for me, and I even had to change the city and work, right in Poland. But the second time I will behave differently, calmer.

Dec 25, 2019

Thanks! Merry Christmas to you too !!

Today I sent parcels to my customers)….We celebrate Christmas on January 7th, so it’s too early to give gifts. We have Orthodox Christmas)…. And I will celebrate 2 times)

Dec 27, 2019

Today I talked with my sister and my nephews. I prepared a lot of good for them) and we ate it).

Dec 28, 2019

They’ve brought different treats.) I’m looking for a job right now. Ever since I promised my dad I’d go to work if he quit drinking;)

Dec 29, 2019

Hi). I have not found yet)

Dec 30, 2019

Yes, fear fetters us in action, but we must go and not think about it, so that later we do not regret that we lost time)

Dec 31, 2019

I wanted to go to my nephews. but a little sick, I don’t know now, go to them or stay at home).

Jan 01, 2020

I went to a city near Kiev, to visit my father. But it’s so cold here, and I was returning back along the ice field for several kilometers. Barely reached home)). I will be treated.

Jan 05, 2020

…my nephew is a big fan of computer games. It is almost impossible to tear off the phone :). We also did crafts for their mom. We burned a drawing on a tree with a soldering iron, it turned out beautifully.

Jan 06, 2020

We have almost no snow, but it’s cold. Today I drew a little, but in the end I threw away my drawing, in the anger that he had failed). Tomorrow is Christmas.

Jan 07, 2020

Hi) I’m doing some cooking today, and I’m cleaning houses. We’re not celebrating Christmas). Well, we’re not celebrating this holiday, and everyone else is)). My parents are tired of everything.

I also decided to ignore the criticism. I will speak and do what I want, and even let everyone laugh)) At a new job, I will behave differently).

Yeah, I’ll try to say what I think out loud. Then the first impression of me won’t be that I’m a closed person.) No, I keep quiet like a fish at work. But I won’t be silent anymore.)

Jan 08, 2020

today the mood is so-so. I did not go to the city. I will go tomorrow. I watch a program about who misanthropes are)).

I’m becoming a misanthrope… Maybe I’ll leave this site for a while, take a break so I don’t get distracted. I’ll go back to reality.

Jan 16, 2020

Hi). Okay. I have periods of depression. But it’s better now.

Sometimes I talk about it to people I know, but everyone has a million problems of their own). So far, I’m handling it on my own).

Jan 18, 2020

I finally took the first step. and signed up for an interview, I know that I will not be accepted because of insufficient experience, but I will go to different interviews until I find a job.

This is a job vacancy in Kiev – assistant lawyer. 11 years ago, I last worked in this direction. But I decided to attend 20-30 interviews until they took me. I’m terribly afraid, and I’m sure they will point me to the door :). But I decided to attend a 20-30 interview until someone takes me. Nothing more to lose. You’ve been working at work all this time, but I just decided it now.

Jan 19, 2020

I worked, but not for long, several years. I will say that I wanted to try something new). I worked for myself for seven years, and lost the habit of working in teams, and I also feel terrible in offices. But old age is not far off, I need some kind of profession, experience. So we are colleagues? :). Our assistant lawyer has a small salary, less than the seller.

Jan 20, 2020

I went for an interview. And they told me to come tomorrow, for a 3-day trial period. At first I agreed. But then I called them back and refused. I was just scared !!! 😦 I thought that after 3 days anyway, they will tell me that I am not suitable for them.

We often have a trial period of 1-3 months. I am not satisfied with myself because I missed a chance. But I will search further, there is no other way.

Jan 21, 2020

I also spoke very poorly at the interview, I could not squeeze out the words :). But many employers realize that people are worried).

Jan 22, 2020

A stream of thoughts rummages in my unhappy head, where should I go.) Yesterday my thoughts brought me to Portugal, Lisbon :). I found a job in a factory, a sweet packer. The vacancy is paid, through the agency, but I’m afraid that they will turn out to be scammers. And besides, I don’t know either English or Portuguese. I would like to try, but I’m not sure if this is the right way). Although you can always go back.

Jan 24, 2020

Today I was thinking about working in Sweden). There is a lot more salary, if I could go there I would be very happy 🙂

Jan 26, 2020

But i so far from reading English, because until today i used the Google translater. But in soon i am going to have to try translate a short texts myself. For example took me half an hour to writing this text:). Even longer).

Jan 29, 2020

Our street is also very damp and foggy. But there were no such warm winters, the temperature is now mostly 0 degrees. Previously, in winter it was up to – 27 degrees.

Jan 31, 2020

Hi) Nothing new so far. I’ll see if I can go to Sweden on Monday. If not, I will work in Kiev at any job)

An acquaintance of mine found a middleman agency, if they’re not crooks, and if there are any openings, I’d like to go. But 90% of agencies are con artists, so let’s see.)

Feb 05, 2020

I have still nothing new. My trip in the Sweden will not take place. That firm, that “helps to find a job” is rogue. Because they want get prepayment, and this mean that they will disappear after getting the money). So my sublime plans was falled apart:).

Feb 06, 2020

I fall asleep at 2 a.m., and in the morning I can hardly get up. Internet is to blame for everything)

Feb 07, 2020

I think I’m too old to study). But sometimes I would like to be a student and to start life from the beginning. I would choose the faculty of foreign languages.

Feb 15, 2020

Yesterday I went to my friend, walked. I wanted to go to the theater, but there were no tickets anymore. And the day before yesterday I went with my nephew to the movie for the movie Sonic.

I wanted to go to the Nutcracker ballet. Yes, my nephew really liked the film, but for me it is too childish.

I’m used to being alone, it’s not so bad. You can do anything you want. And the other person will not help, on the contrary, it can become even worse with someone who does not understand you to the end. The main thing is to have a few friends or acquaintances, this is enough. I listen a lot on YouTube about loneliness, and I stopped being afraid of it.

Feb 20, 2020

I began to listen to Vonnegut Kurt’s audio book Cradle for the Cat. From the classics I really like Victor Hugo. Dostoevsky is too sad for me). My nephew also loves Harry Potter).

Feb 23, 2020

For the same reason, I almost do not communicate with relatives). Because they all consider me a failure).

Feb 25, 2020

…unfortunately, it’s hard for me to write anything about myself, probably because I dislike myself. This is very difficult for me, so I am not fit for the role of the person giving the interview. I like to listen more. It’s probably more pleasant to talk about your victories than about defeats. If someday everything changes in my life, then I will tell you how I came to this 🙂

I almost do not look for work. I can’t find a suitable job, not far from where I live. Sometimes I go to the post office send books. There is nothing new so far).

Feb 26, 2020

…But at least sometimes you need to look for joy in something so as not to go crazy

Feb 27, 2020

I don’t like dating, I even hate it) My hyper-shyness doesn’t allow me go to date :).

I think I found the answers to the questions that tortured me. Which job to choose? How live alone? Why is life not fair? Why do people get sick? Why all this?

Today I read a certain article about the meaning of life. It said that it is necessary to organize and fill your life so that you do not have time and energy to think about it!! And anyone who starts thinking seriously about the meaning of life ALWAYS will inevitably come to the conclusion that the world is terrible and that it is better to die. And so I decided not to think about it at all anymore. Because I already know the answer). I have to do something, even meaningless work, and not break my head, and not doubt whether I’m doing the right thing.

And I thought it was good to have doubts. But in my case, doubt was a disease, a diagnosis. In this article it was said (the article is based on the opinion of famous writers, philosophers) that in any case, serious doubts and reflections of any person will lead to the thought of senselessness and cruelty of this world!!! Then why think about it at all. These thoughts prevent me from doing anything and slow me down. If there is one end waiting for everyone, it is better to do something in your life without even knowing and understanding why and for what.

I didn’t know what kind of job to do, but I’ll go where they take me, let it be a terrible job, but I won’t think about it. My free time must also be loaded with new work so that my doubts don’t creep up in my head. In short, I have decided not to think about anything, let fate take me wherever it wants. Because my own thoughts have led me to a dead end. In general, those who have too much free time think about the meaning of life and the meaning of suffering.

Mar 02, 2020

Hi) It is also cloudy here and it rains all day. Today was the birthday of my niece, and I went to visit them and gave her a notebook with bright sparkles, and other little things.

Mar 03, 2020

Yes, she is very creative, plays the piano, draws, and also did gymnastics). Now I need to take care of my health, I always put it off because I’m afraid of doctors. But now I need to go to the doctor. If the doctor does not find anything bad with me, I will be in a good mood and I will not think about anything bad.

Mar 06, 2020

Today I resumed my tour of the doctors.

I went through one doctor, there are a few more left). Yes, a private doctor is expensive. But there are state hospitals, not a lot of money, but there are long lines, and not always good doctors.

Mar 11, 2020

Hi) Because I sold books on religion, sometimes I had to hear about different religions. The Orthodox religion condemns other religions, and I don’t like it.

Mar 12, 2020

Yesterday i worked in my father store all day. And what do you do today? I hope in your town is no panic of the new virus? In Kiev all people talks about it, because the quality of care in our country is very low, thats why people are a bit scared. But i try don’t think about it)

Mar 13, 2020

Yes my cat and two dogs sat with me and slept near the hot furnace. Today i also siting at the store, but i don’t very like this, because i need to communicate with people:). And i know goods no well, and always to ring to father to ask where lies goods. It’s absurdly:). At this moments i would like to be in desert Island).

Mar 14, 2020

Yes, many products have no price tags. It’s already hard for my father to work because of his health. But I think I’ll get used to it). Today I visit a doctor again, and tomorrow I will again work in a store.

Mar 17, 2020

I am not a big poetry lover, the only poet I like is Lermontov. His poem “Mtsyri” is my favorite). We are already starting to panic, my father and I also bought a lot of products today, because everything will be closed. I hope you do not have a panic. You also take care of yourself!

Tomorrow in Ukraine will close the metro. My father closed his store).

Mar 18, 2020

Yes, I also blame myself for that. All vacancies that exist do not suit me.

Mar 19, 2020

I understand. Despite the pain and fear, if we find a new job we will be proud of ourselves). Therefore, one must look…It’s so beautiful on the street, birds are already singing, but you have to sit locked up)

Yoga is very useful, and it must be soothing). It calms me to listen to various smart people on Youtube, including Indian gurus).

I have never done yoga, I am too impatient for this and lazy). And besides, I have no flexibility)

Mar 20, 2020

I’m not worried yet. I don’t think anyone will escape their fate. A friend from a school who lives in France have called me yesterday. She did not call me for 7 years, and yesterday have called)). This virus really unites people))).

Mar 21, 2020

She works for a real estate company. But now her firm is closed, and they all sit at home. During these seven years, she changed several jobs, was fired, changed the city. There were a lot of difficulties. She did not start a family during this time and suffers because of this. We were friends from grade 3)

Mar 23, 2020

I had friends at school, I was friends with those whom society did not accept. But everything changed in college, it was difficult for me to communicate there, and because of this I missed classes, in the end I was expelled from college :

Mar 30, 2020

I really don’t like to plan, and I do everything spontaneously, depending on my mood. So why don’t you worry, you live the way you know. If you don’t feel like writing, don’t write, I haven’t painted for a whole year. Yesterday, dad asked me to draw a picture for him, and I painted.

Mar 31, 2020

A very smart Ukrainian politician, told, that soon the economic situation in Ukraine will be so, that people will live as in the middle ages, every day without knowing when they die. But it will good for blossoming the creativity, because the best inventions of humankind was in a difficult time. While i was thinking what’s kind of job i want, now don’t have any choice at all:). A total Unemployment).

Apr 01, 2020

Hi)I can walk near the house in our garden. Today I was on the street, but a little frozen.

Apr 05, 2020

I became interested in gardening and planted for the first time in my life greens, dill carrots, peas. I hope that at least something will grow 🙂

…I did not use fertilizers as they are not sold nearby

Apr 09, 2020

Our black cat is already an adult. I would love to give you a couple of my cats :). Every morning, when I open the door to the street, five pairs of hungry eyes look at me)).

…All these animals are ours). Unfortunately, my landings did not grow, 10 days have already passed, a little upset 😦 I really want to leave for the city, but quarantine until April 24. Most likely the quarantine will be extended until May 15.

Apr 15, 2020

Hi 🙂 Today I started listening to online lectures on critical thinking, I really liked this topic. At the end of each lecture, assignments with questions are given. From boredom, I don’t know what to do anymore)

Apr 27, 2020

I have nothing new so far, I’m sitting at home. We also have quarantine until May 11th.

Apr 29, 2020

Hi, yes, the store is closed. we are forbidden to trade, for this the state can fine us $ 650. Our neighbor is already fined for trade. But the father sells goods to friends a couple of times a day.

May 02, 2020

When quarantine is over, the father will open the store again. People understand that. Only today, several bazaars were opened in Kiev. The minibus in my village still does not go, so I still can not get to Kiev

May 25, 2020

In Kiev, transport began to walk yesterday and the subway opened. But I am still trapped and cannot go to Kiev, because the minibus still does not go there. I open my father’s store twice a day for only half an hour…people themselves are looking for what they need :). On the door, I wrote the entrance only in masks, but many ignore this inscription.

June 01, 2020

Yesterday I tried to draw the sea, copied from the paintings of other artists. I show you two pictures, but they are not yet complete. Now I’m sitting in my father’s store and waiting for buyers).

Jun 19, 2020

I go out to the store twice a day for one hour. I have to communicate with people, I’m probably the quietest seller in the world, so I’m not very good. Almost all people come in without a mask, I no longer comment on them, it is useless).

Jun 22, 2020

Yes, we have growing potatoes, tomatoes. Today I will plant cucumbers. Unfortunately I have apathy today, I don’t know why).

Yesterday and the day before yesterday I drank wine right in the store, half an hour I felt good, and then worse). If alcohol did not cause consequences, I think I would drink every day, but I know that it is dangerous. I hope you do not drink alcohol)?

Jun 24, 2020

I translate the text separately in google translator. I refused to learn English because I no longer believe that I can learn it. Yes, I sometimes drink again, because it gives me a temporary feeling of lightness, then I become relaxed and even cheerful, but not for long.

I haven’t painted anything for a long time, there’s no mood). But mother draws, she never studied anywhere, she began to draw for half a year, and already painted a lot of paintings). yes, it is painted with oil paints) Mom tried to sell online, but in Ukraine they buy paintings badly.

Jun 27, 2020

I no longer have the mood to learn English. Now I’m sitting in a store, but there are no people. What is your mood? I’m ashamed to admit it, but I drank wine again.

Jul 2, 2020

Today. worked again in the store, there were many buyers. I stayed all day, but in the evening I bought wine again, I become an alcoholic !!!). There are a lot of people drinking in our village.

almost a liter. I did not drink for a year, but here I started again) This is terrible! While I can’t learn English), maybe later I will start to study. Yes, I like it when there are a lot of people, and I feel that I am helping my father. But I only work a couple of hours a day.

Yes, for the sixth day in a row, almost a liter of wine a day ((. I used to hate working in this store, but now it gives me at least some sense.

Jul 07, 2020

I decided not to drink anymore, although without alcohol my mood is terrible. I again feel insecure, sad, etc. Today I work in a store, there are very few people, because I am a sluggish seller, and I do not offer anything, and I do not joke with people. When I drink wine, I become a different person, but I decided not to drink anymore !!

but in general my dream is to live somewhere a hermit in the forest. I really don’t like people! Today, one customer told me why I’m sitting in a store if I don’t know the goods, at such moments I want to leave people far away. Sorry that I am writing you such a negative ((

I will try not to drink anymore). Because after that, everything hurts. Although nothing in life gives me such joy as drinking. I have several friends, sometimes I talk on the phone. Thank you for your support) You are very kind. I hope your mood is better than mine).

Jul 09, 2020

I think I can’t tell my psychologist my problems. I complain to my friends, each a little, and it’s easier for me. And I told you a little bit. Today I was dishonored again in the store, due to ignorance of the goods)). I found the remnants of wine, a little bit and drank to drown my shame)). But I will no longer buy wine.

I think not Kiev, not my nephews will help me anymore. My own family (husband) would help me. But probably it’s my rock to always be alone. Everything else is meaningless to me. I hope my nagging does not spoil your mood)

Jul 16, 2020

I still have little new. I go to the store every day. Today I went to Kiev to wish my grandmother a happy birthday. Her friend was visiting her at that moment, so I felt uneasy. Because I know they think I’m weird and wild)).

Jul 19, 2020

Grandmother’s character is terrible). But due to the fact that we see each other very rarely, we do not quarrel. But as a child, I often visited her in the village, it was in Russia. I was afraid of her, as she was very strict and always yelled at us for any reason.

Jul 26, 2020

I still work a couple of hours a day at the store. Mom went to rest on the sea, my father and I live together. Perhaps today I will go to Kiev, I myself do not know why yet).

You asked about my grandmother) She always had a very strict character, I think that my grandmother contributed to my self-esteem), but I am not offended, I rarely communicate with her and therefore we do not quarrel). But when we were children, she often took us to the country for the summer in Russia, there was an extraordinary nature, wild forests, … I still often dream of places where I rested with her.

Aug 06, 2020

I have nothing new yet. Mom called me to her at sea, but I didn’t want to. I need to look for a job in Kiev, although I can’t even imagine which one).

Aug 08, 2020

Are you asking why I don’t want to go to the sea ?. I think because it is not very interesting with parents)) control). Maybe later I’ll go somewhere alone.

I feel good) How are you? Yes, we also have these days very hot! Now I’m in my father’s store, but there are no buyers).

Aug 18, 2020

Hi) Today I am in the store since 7 am because today is market day. But today few sellers have arrived, so there are few people in the bazaar.

We had a strong heat today, but the nights are already chilly. I don’t want the summer to end. I didn’t sell a lot, because I don’t know how to offer a product, I just sell what they ask for. Unlike my father, he can sell anything)). My dad knows how to find an approach to any person, make him laugh and charm, here everyone adores and respects him. Also, many take advantage of his kindness, borrow and do not give it back). But I am the complete opposite)).

Aug 19, 2020

Yes, I’ve never figured out how to deal with colleagues who are rude. But now I realized that one cannot be silent and swallow an offense. I will also answer rudeness with rudeness, but a little with humor. After all, when you are silent, resentment accumulates inside, and life becomes very difficult. I will take an example from my father, he never takes offense if people start being rude, he always puts them in their place.

For example, my father recently worked in his shop. Because his legs often hurt a lot and it was difficult for him to get up, he sat. When the customer entered and asked about the product, the father replied that he did not know for sure if there was a product, and indicated to the person where the product might be so that he could find it. Then the buyer was very indignant why such a bad seller did not show the product itself. And the father said: “Okay, now I’ll show you,” and showed him the way out, and said “get out of here, boor))

Nov 09, 2020

So far, everything is still) I live with my parents, but I still dream of leaving. Sometimes I paint when I’m in the mood.

Nov 12, 2020

Unfortunately, I cannot show my pictures, since I no longer have Telegrams. I lived for several months without a phone (broke down), and I liked it, but my father gave me a new phone :), and now I’m surfing the Internet for days again. Today I had to go to the store at 7 in the morning, today is a market day, but I chickened out and did not go out, because I feel a strong feeling of awkwardness in front of other sellers, because I do not communicate with them, and they are all friendly with each other, and I hate myself for that :).

Nov 13, 2020

I feel fine with customers, but the informal setting scares me. It’s just that I’m not pleased with the fact that all the sellers think that I am an introverted person, unlike my father). I told my sister a little, but she does not fully understand me.

Dec 03, 2020

I rarely go to my father’s shop now. Since it gets dark early on the street, the store is open only until 3 pm, one grandmother works there, she helps her father. I’m looking for a job, although I don’t know where to go to work, maybe a salesman. If I find anything, I’ll tell you).

Dec 04, 2020

Yes, my grandmother is very friendly, she loves my dad very much, and has been helping him for 6 years, she works in the store every day, constantly brings him home cooked food. Today I am sitting in a store, and a customer just came in and said that the whole family had had a coronavirus. Many people in our village are already sick.

Dec 10, 2020

Hi, today I again did not go to the store at 7 in the morning, because today is a market day and there are many sellers) also because on market days you cannot heat with wood in the store, neighboring sellers complain that soot settles on their goods. At about 12 noon, the bazaar leaves and the stove can be re-melted, and if not heated, the store is very cold, so the sutra did not come out today. Are you still doing work from home? What is your mood?

Jan 11, 2021

Happy New Year and Merry Christmas! I have everything still. There is nothing new yet, perhaps in the spring I will move to Kiev, in anticipation of this, my mood is much better.

Feb 08, 2021

I hope everything is fine with you. I am already in Kiev, but I still feel anxiety)). Now I definitely need to look for a job, I am looking through the options, and I think I will soon go and any. I will not draw any more, since I really have no talent. It takes several years to study this craft hard in order to paint at least at an intermediate level.

The thought that I could help my parents and nephews with the money I earned, but I don’t do it, the thoughts about it kill me.

It’s good in Kiev, I am again among the people. I like to be around people, but not to communicate closely. But if I don’t go to work in the next few days, I’ll die of hunger)).

Feb 14, 2021

Nothing new so far). Yes, I am looking for a job on the Internet, tomorrow I will call employers.

Feb 15, 2021

Happy Valentine’s Day to you)

Feb 16, 2021

I’m not waiting for Valentine anymore) In Ukraine, girls of this age and without a family are considered old maidens, men choose younger ones. In addition, we have a lot of beautiful girls). Therefore, I think I will be alone for the rest of my life. But there are many advantages to this. You can fall in love with a new person at least every day. Be creative, and nothing will distract, etc.

Feb 17, 2021

Everyone has their own time. I even begin to rejoice at my loneliness, since most of my acquaintances and even relatives are very unhappy in marriage, and suffer, but they cannot leave the family, because there are small children.

Feb 24, 2021

I don’t know. everyone has different reasons. But it seems to me that before marriage, a person needs to be carefully looked at. For example, if a person likes to drink, then most likely they will become a drunkard. If a guy who has a girlfriend often looks at other girls, then in the future he will betray his girlfriend. But people do not pay attention to these small details, and they turn into divorce. I don’t understand anything about this topic at all. I begin to believe in fate, maybe someone is not given to have a family, and such a person would be better off alone.

Feb 25, 2021

My position is the same) because of this, the mood spoils. I really hope that we will find work soon).

Mar 02, 2021

Yes, I’m in Kiev, but I haven’t found a job yet….our salaries are too small to survive). Today I went to my niece’s birthday, she is 8 years old, this is the only thing that lifted my spirits.

Apr 11, 2021

Hi, Sorry that I rarely answer, because I have no news. I even began to drink sedatives so that it was not so anxious. How are you? Any changes?)

Apr 13, 2021

Hello, and I also sit at home and kneel with fear of going to an interview. But I’ll go soon) These are good sedatives, but you can’t combine alcohol with them, it’s dangerous.

Apr 15, 2021

I tried to repeat with oil paints like that of the famous artist Ivan Aivazovsky. It’s hard, because I haven’t studied anywhere, and I don’t know how to do it right. But I’m glad for that, though. I suffered for several days)… I am also looking for a job.

There is one pharmacy where these pills are sold without a prescription, but of course they are expensive. I’ll drink another month. No, I did not go to the doctors, my mother used to drink them. In Russian “Gedozipam”

From the pills, peace appeared in the soul. I feel bad that I do not work and do not help my parents, but they are not young. And my conscience gnawed at me. But this week I’ll go at least wash the floors, I don’t care anymore

I want to paint small pictures, and not with oil, but with acrylic paints

Yes of course)… You can embellish the story with different romantic stories, whatever you want, but only my photo is scary to upload) it is better not)

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Acrylic painting by correspondent, 2021 – if you would like to support the artist’s work, contact me