Change and Growth

On being present for growth – Joshua;

Nothing seems to have certainty except for the three phases of existence (birth , life and death).

You ever feel like you wanna do something but your body won’t let you? Sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own my body.

Not like those people who think they were meant to be a man but they were born female. No , I mean that gut wrenching feeling that you are meant to go in a certain direction but you can’t , you don’t know how or where that direction is. That’s what I feel right now.

To be honest that’s probably not the best description for it , but that’s the best way I can put it into words. I’ve done A LOT of meditation, hours upon hours for the past 3-4 years and there’s a sense you get when you’ve been doing it for that long. The sense is like feeling that your mind and body are two different beings? If that’s a way to put it. Or that the real you is separate from your ego, and your ego puts you in a blind autonomous state, just moving through life without too much thought. It’s a very trapped feeling when you want to get off that conveyor belt of life and move into the direction that you truly want to be. At least the direction that you THINK you want to be.

But now I feel like I’m off topic, there’s a sense in me that I am meant for more. There’s also images in my dreams that I see of possible futures I could have had but my choices led me here and now. (Not trying to get religious in my blog but) God has laid the path for me, and all my dreams I see the same ending. That must be the same for you (the reader) , what ever path in life you must take the ending is the same right? I see myself with some success, moderate fame and enough money that I can live and not worry about the mundane stuff that life throws at me , the stuff I worry about now.

That’s where this feeling is coming from , the Me that doesn’t want the safety of the ego , the me that wants to succeed. But the Egos job is to “protect” the body and mind from harm. It’s so unusual that generally the egos trying to provide cover but really the Ego has stifled so many people from their endeavors. Writers , Painters , Stock Brokers , Blue collar workers , the ego is always interfering.

Oddly enough you kind of separate from it after long meditation sessions and it becomes more manageable and noticeable to the “other you“. That’s about the best you can do without doing DMT or traveling for an Ayahuasca trip. Something I’ve always wanted to do.

I suppose the only option for me at this moment is to just be present , even though I feel that I should be productively working towards something, instead I’m here on my WordPress app writing about my feelings and thoughts , wondering where all the time went.

Have a blessed day world

21 Dec, 2021


On the necessity for change – Izzy;

Sometimes we hold on so tightly to people, and things because we are afraid. Afraid to leap and to change, afraid that the change will hurt forever. I don’t know why we always assume that change hurts, I suppose it does in a lot of scenarios. Pain is not necessarily all bad, think of it as breaking down a structure that was unstable and rebuilding it. Perhaps forging a new in the fire. It’s hard, to be honest with yourself, it’s far harder to be blatantly honest with yourself versus others. We do judge ourselves and maybe even more harshly than others. Each day is a new day to begin something new, to improve even if it is something small.

The winds of change blow in whether you are ready or not. They don’t pause and allow you to brace yourself, they come swiftly and blindly. People say go with the flow, for this reason, you can accept it and take it in stride or you can resist and fight and wear yourself out. It’s happening anyway and the harder you resist, the more it’s going to hurt. It’s easier said than done because there is comfort in familiarity, even if it is negative. In familiarity, you know what to expect, and you can be lazy there. When something is predictable it takes little energy. When things are unpredictable it requires thought and action and it is uncomfortable especially if you feel like you do not have the energy to deal with it.

If life never shook us up, how would we grow? Would we ever improve? Are you truly happy or are you comfortable? Is this the life you want or is it the life you are used to?

20 Dec, 2021

Author: Workers' Archive

Covering sensitivity at work and beyond on my website:

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