‘There is Only One Reality’ – Opportunities for Self-Connection

Yuzuki Yukari_AnnaVanes
Yuzuki Yukari by Anna Vanes (c)

The various forms of self-quarantining being imposed or encouraged by authorities across the world in response to the coronavirus pandemic mean that individuals with social anxiety symptoms will, along with others, experience prolonged isolation over the coming weeks. Whilst presenting a potentially challenging disruption to treatment, support and exposure, this period may present an opportunity for connecting with oneself.

Disassociation is a medically recognised response to overwhelming stress. It leads to disconnection from oneself and/or one’s environment and can last for a short or long period. In a recent blog-post, writer, Rachel Ganz, recalls her anxiety and fear-provoked disassociation during her childhood: “I learned very young to displace myself with imaginative distancing. I cannot panic about reality because I don’t keep up with it, I can’t. Most of us live a version of that. Most of us participate only as we want, only as we can.”

Blogger, Zachary Terry, wrote recently of mental distancing in the form of regret and hope. His mother passed away unexpectedly and he writes of the loss triggering deep regret. “I lamented my choices throughout the previous years, wishing I was better, kinder, more loving, more affectionate… I wished I’d been a son who took better care of his mother.”

He came to see spending time purely on regretting as a denial of the present – and reality: “I saw how useless my regrets were unless they caused me to make different choices in the real world – in the present. I began making commitments to myself, my mom, and to God. I started showing more love to the important relationships in my life.”

Likewise, he sees spending time in the future with hopes, whether taking vague or detailed form, as being wasteful unless connected to the present: “…I’ve begun letting go of any dream of mine if I’m not prepared to begin working towards it today. I ensure to draw a clear line from the present towards the future I desire.” He adds, “…prove your dreams aren’t simply fantasies about an alternate future universe that will never exist.”

Individuals suffering social anxiety disorder symptoms, often accompanied by depression, can find themselves displaced or disconnected from the reality of the present or, simply, numbed through disassociation, distraction or, even, medication. As well as leading to difficulties functioning, with the most extreme cases being difficulties with self-care, such as washing or clothing oneself, it can lead to loss of a sense of an identity or sense of being.

Rachel Ganz recommends recording and replaying ones daily life – whether in written, audio or video form – as a means of self-connecting: “Sit and listen. What did you do today? How did you react to the things around you? Was everything ok? Were some things not ok? Who was there? How did those people make you feel?” For sixty minutes, she suggests, “Untangle your experiences. Allow the memory of those experiences to effect you. Trust your soul and let it breathe.”

The listening to oneself forms part of both the recording and the replaying process: “We have been through a lot and we will continue to get through a lot, believe me. OR, don’t believe, and look through OLD texts for inspiration, find the artifacts. Whatever moves you, art, cooking, history, physics…” Even the process of tidying and sorting personal belongings presents an opportunity to connect one’s past and present selves.

Zachary Terry’s form of connecting is to remind himself of the present: “When I fall into discontented moods I try and close my eyes and remind myself that nothing else exists. Here I am, just riding the rise and fall of life’s cruel turns and wondrous pleasures. Here I am on the only mortal adventure I’ll ever know. There is nothing else at all friends.”

Global self-quarantining measures may offer a time for self-connection efforts. However, it may also pose new challenges by isolating individuals from opportunity and support and/or placing them into unsupportive environments. Nonetheless, during this uncertain period, when many are undergoing hardship, self-awareness and self-connection may prove beneficial commitments.

Image designed by Anna Vanes.

To read Zachary Terry’s full blog-post, ‘There is Only One Reality,’ click below:

Walking Forward

Let’s Do a Fun One

I’m taking a break from writing solely about my trials this week. Let’s do something fun and philosophical. Some weeks ago I mentioned I’ve experienced a great psychological awakening. It was a series of sequential attitude shifts that paved the way for transformative change. I want to share one of the concepts that helped me. I learned to live here in the present, in thereal world. I learned to loosen my focus away from the three false realities I used to fantasize about.

The Real World

We human beings live here and now. Our brains constantly experience a slightly delayed continuous present moment. This is all that there is. What happened five seconds ago isn’t real. What’s going to happen in five seconds from nowdefinitelyisn’t real. Right here, in thispersistentpresent,is the only universe where cause and effect flow…

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