Reflections on school – demands and judgment

By Prati, a student at school within India;

Oct 17, 2021

I want to start my life with a new identity in a new place

As much depressing as it sounds, it’s not. It’s the idea I want to live because I am tired of everything. I want to live in a new country with a new identity where no one knows me, I don’t know anyone.

I am happy but I am sad too. I don’t know any reason but I don’t want to live here. I am tired of all the people, situations in my life. If I want to move out, I have to study for that. My school life was very good, happy but not exciting, I didn’t party, I didn’t bunk any class, I didn’t do anything happening that’s the regret I am keeping but I have high hopes from my college. No one is guaranteeing me that I’ll happy there because I don’t know.

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Imposter – self-valuation and failure

A PhD student describes the fear of academic failure;

I can feel that I’m not good enough and that I don’t know enough. I can think that others think I’m better than I am. I can also think that I’ll be found out and revealed as the impostor that I can feel that I am. To avoid being exposed and also to try to improve my skills and fill what I think are the gaps in my knowledge, I turn to self-study.

With so many areas that I think I can and need to improve in, sooooooo many videos and courses and books, and so much information to sift through, I can feel unfocused and overwhelmed which gives rise to the all-or-nothing thinking of perfectionism—either I try to learn all the things or I just give up because it’s too much.

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What No One Tells You About Traveling and Depression

By McKenna;

Depression and I go way back. When I was around 12, I noticed I felt incredibly sad for no reason at all. At least at the time, I thought it was no reason at all; now as an adult, I can see that years of bullying and low self-esteem had taken a toll.

And even before depression, there is another friend I must introduce you to (I need to use up these nine wine glasses) . . . let’s give a warm welcome for social anxiety!

How I look so fondly of those years where I was too scared to pick up the phone, order my own food at a restaurant, raise my hand in class, and stand up for myself! How I cherish those moments of feeling like I’m balancing myself on two moving tectonic plates as I say hello to a stranger!

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EGX 2021 – bonding at a gaming convention

Caitlin writes about games and mental health and, in this piece, recounts their experience of attending a video game trade fair.

As an introvert who lives alone, is not in a committed relationship, works a programming job and whose hobbies are mostly online or solitary, I do not get out much. Sure, I will go for a walk on days that I need to clear my head. When I need something from town, I will grab my keys and head out the door with relative ease. This solitary nature has led to a running joke in my family about my tendency to melt if I step into the sunlight, or how the fresh air is actually poison to my lungs. However, there are always events that I push through the social anxiety to go to – EGX being one of them.

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